^^ I feel I should mention, I considered using a pretty picture of me and the kids from our family photos for this post. However, this photo was taken on what was the best day with the kids I have had in recent memory. The kids were in great moods, there was almost no whining, no fighting and we just enjoyed ourselves. And that folks needs to be documented!
With each kid, things have gotten easier...well, after the first. My confidence has grown. I have learned more and more to not care what others think and to be confident in my own parenting decisions. With each kid, life has also gotten busier. Sure, I've learned to let a lot of the little things go, but also, four kids just requires a lot of time. And that time has to come from somewhere. It has come from places like updating this old blog of mine. Or organizing pictures. I used to meticulously organize all the photos I took a couple times a week. Or reading. I used to read a whole book in a day or two. Now I am lucky to finish a couple in a year. Now, I will admit, I am pretty darn bad about "self care". I know it is a buzz word, so I should probably be all over it. The thing is, I would rather a clean house (which seriously lowers my anxiety level) over some me time in a tub. Now, I do tap out every once in a while, leave Ian in charge, and go watch a show in our room by myself. On one hand, I wish that happened more than it does. On the other, I know all to well just how fleeting this season is...I had three months with two kids in school before Callum was born, so the memory is there. I know I will miss this season. All too much. It's probably the reason I take so many pictures. I want to be able to remember. One day the time will come when I can cozy up in a coffee shop all by myself. And when that time comes, I somehow have a feeling it will be spent with me scrolling through old photos of the kids. After all, that's what I already do at night when they are in bed.
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