jess and the gang: On Learning to Not Put My Foot In My Mouth

I used to be a huge gossip. This was way back in my high school days. But, you know what? I learned gossip hurts. I've been hurt and I've hurt others. And I just hate that icky feeling of knowing I shared something that wasn't mine to share. Why do we do it? To feel in the know? To act superior to others because other's challenges build us up? Wow, that's awesome...sense the sarcasm.

One hard lesson I have learned over and over is my opinions on whatever in your life, or whoever's life, don't really matter. Not even don't really matter. They flat out don't matter. Did you hear that? MY OPINIONS DON'T MATTER. Why should I care how someone else spends their time? Or their money? Or what they eat? Or what they do or don't allow their children to do? If something works for my family, great! It doesn't mean it works for others. And if I don't want other people's opinions, then I shouldn't give mine.

But I also HATE it when people ask for my opinion, but don't really want it. If you know we are opposites, why ask? Especially when you don't really want it and really are just looking for a fight. I am working on putting up boundaries in this area of my life. Just because someone asks my opinion doesn't mean I have to give it. Imagine that. Now learning to graciously not give my opinion is a whole other story. Because, often times, people push if you refuse to instantly build them up when they are fishing for your opinion. But, I am learning, keeping my mouth shut speaks volumes without me having to.

That being said, I want SELECTIVE people to speak into my life. Just as I would hope to be able to speak into the lives of selective people as well. These people I care about so deeply that giving them my (well thought out) thoughts and opinions, no matter how hurtful, is important to me. Now, when I say hurtful, I don't mean in the way I say things, I mean in the message. So often, for all of us, the truth stings at least a little bit. Because, let's be honest, people speaking into your life is generally about something you need to grow in and GROWTH ALWAYS HURTS.

I really am working on opening my mouth less and less. Having to deal less and less with the "why did I say that?!" thoughts that plague me for hours after I said something stupid to someone. As I get older, and less flexible, putting my foot in my mouth becomes more and more of a challenge to deal with ;) So I am thinking practicing self restraint with what comes out of my mouth is a much better idea.

And, on a side note, teaching kids to control their mouths. Wow, that is quite the job! What they can and can't say in different situations. Learning not to be brutally honest with everyone they see. It's all so difficult. Learn from my mistakes children, learn from my mistakes. If only it worked that way.