It hit me on Sunday evening while I was getting things ready for Connor's first day of school. He is going to be away from me all day long. I started stuffing more and more stuff in in lunch box. I guess hoping that I could at least nourish him while he was away from me. By the time I was done, the lunch box was so full, I could barely zip it.
This year, as a first grader, Connor got to participate in a school tradition where all the parents line the hallway and cheer and clap as all the kids walk through. As I was trying to get a confused Connor to stay in line while I ran inside, I couldn't help but feel both excitement and sadness over Connor growing up. In true Connor fashion, he literally refused to look at us or smile when walking past us in the hallway. And, in true Jessica fashion, I felt like I wanted to cry, but I didn't.
After the hallway, I went and found Connor and showed him his classroom and let him play on the playground until the bell rang. Then I watched from the doorway as he went inside and found his new desk. He looked so big and grown up. I felt tugged and sad, but still managed to walk away before I was the last crazy mom still trying to look through the doorway.
After what felt like forever, Isla, Callum and I made the trek back to the school to pick up Connor. He had a good day. Ate everything in his lunch, except for his sandwich. Not even one bite of it. He is excited that his class's theme this year is pirates. And he told me all about the reward/punishment system in the class…and how if you get in trouble enough, you end up in the principal's office.
We stopped by Connor's kindergarten class on the way out of the school. Connor gave Mrs. Pippin a huge hug and admitted to her he was crying last night because he missed her. She, in turn, gave me a huge hug and explained to Connor that it's ok to cry and we all get sad about change. As we were walking away, Isla said, "I can't wait until I am in Mrs. Pippin's class." Me either, girl. Me either. She is a gem.
Now to get back in the swing of early bedtimes, early morning alarm clocks and long days without Connor around.
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I always read your blogs as soon as they come out then think, "I'll comment on this one later" then I forget.
ReplyDeleteAnyways. That photo while he is sitting with his face in his hands is adorable! I melted a little bit. You are such a good mama and it is fun to watch your kids grow!