^^ one of my more "mad scientist" hair days
I'm not going to lie, being "generous" with myself is something I struggle with. I think as a mom, I have gotten so used to putting myself on the back burner. And it's hard, oh-so-hard, to prioritize myself. Because, basically prioritizing myself means something else won't get done. Maybe I won't have time to clean the bathroom, or make an amazing dinner, or run that errand that just needed to be done. But I am getting there, trying to not feel guilty for taking time for myself.
It started about two months ago with me taking time out to exercise. I joined an exercise group that has been really good at keeping me going and pushing me to try harder. However, it is three times a week and really encroaches on time I need to go grocery shopping and other things. It also means I have to swallow my pride a bit and wear workout clothes doing the preschool run. Yep, I'm that mom.
Another thing I have let go has been my appearance. What feels like a lifetime ago, I had a bit of a shopping addiction. I had clothes, shoes and accessories for every occasion. Not only did I take up the entire closet in mine and Ian's bedroom, but I also had an additional wardrobe, not to mention two dressers. Like I said, a "bit" of an addiction. Let's just say that after that addiction was broken, I went to the other extreme. I have become cheap, super cheap. And sometimes that leaves me with practically nothing to wear. Or wearing clothes with holes or stains because I like them...or whatever excuse I tell myself. Like I said, I went to the opposite extreme. Well, I am starting to get back out there and buy myself a thing or two every once in a while. And, I am trying super hard to not feel guilty about it. To remind myself that I am not being wasteful or only thinking of myself. After all, Ian doesn't want a wife that looks like a slob! And now that I have short hair, I am going to have to carve out time to actually get my hair cut on a regular basis.
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I can so so so relate to the shopping addiction gone to extreme cheapskate. That's ME. I can't believe the clothes I used to have (that I DON'T fit into anymore) compared to the 5 pairs of work pants I wear every week with loose hems and tiny stains.
ReplyDeleteI hope that as my kids get older and a bit more independent, I'll be able to find that happy medium. :)
I hope that the guilt fades with time, and you can find it easier to be generous with yourself! I'm glad to hear your exercise group has been motivating, and I'm sure Ian has been a support as well.
ReplyDeleteI wear workout clothes on the preschool run too. It's that or not exercise. I'm glad you're taking time for yourself!
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful person inside and out and I love you.
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