Transition

I don’t do good living in limbo. Not knowing what is happening next just stresses me out. And I literally feel physically ill. I hate it. That is what has been going on for the past few weeks in our lives.

Basically it became apparent that Scotland was no longer the place for us. It was sudden, yes, but not necessarily unexpected. For a long time now I have been praying for our future. Praying that God’s will be done in our lives and things happen in his timing. I guess his timing has come!

After knowing we were going to leave Scotland, doors started opening up. Possibly too many doors. Options create stress…for me anyway. Ian and I talked over and over about which “door” was the best fit for our little family. The problem was, no door was bad and no door was perfect, making it difficult to make a decision. We weighted the pros and cons, talked about our personal feelings and came up with a decision. A decision that shocked some of the people closest to us (well, close to me anyway).

We decided to move to Modesto, California. Only one of the most miserable cities in America (according to Forbes)…and the car theft capital of America. But, it’s where we are from…well, Ian anyway (I actually only spent 6 years of my life there). And given how much we have given our future to God, I am thinking it is where he wants us as well.

There is a sadness in my heart about leaving Scotland. We have created a life here. Made friends here. Saying goodbye to most of these people is exactly that, goodbye. We won’t see most of them again. And that is sad.

There is also an uncertainty in my heart. Moving is never easy. And with this move, we are temporarily moving in with my parents…talk about feeling like a kid again! We have to sort out a loan and find a house to buy in this buyers market. Also, we have to face another 3 month wait for our stuff to arrive from Scotland. Once all that happens and we settle into our new home, I will be content. The moving will be done (hopefully) for a while.

Also, we are used to living in a different culture. Now we will have to get re-acquainted with the culture we left behind. I don’t want to loose the good characteristics I have picked up in these past three years.

But looking ahead, I am excited. I get to live by my family again. I haven’t lived by my parents since I moved out of their house! And I haven’t lived by my brother since 2004. I get to actually hang out with my friends in Modesto that I have kept in touch with through all these years. Good friends. Friends who have been thru it all with me. That is probably the most exciting part for me.

I don’t do good living in limbo. But I am keeping my eyes on the future. December 9th will probably come quicker than I want it to, but at the same time can’t come quick enough.