Connor is at such a fun age right now. He interacts with me, he easily laughs, isn't too fussy anymore and is virtually sleeping thru the night. All that and he is still my baby boy. It doesn't kill my arms to hold him (so, he is just the right size), I enjoy rocking him to sleep, he doesn't try to push himself away from me and he doesn't say no.
I know all this will change. I really do try to cherish every moment I have with him. And, when I think of the relationship that my brothers and I have with my parents, it gives me a hope that Connor will still want to talk to me when he is all grown up. But still, that is when life is more complicated, more difficult. I like the innocent boy that I have in front of me.
And, don't get me wrong, its not just Connor's life who I want to press pause on...its everyone. I want to be able to watch my nephew grow up, I want to be involved in my brothers lives, I want to be involved in my parents lives. Basically, I want to live my life and be super involved in everyone else's! All this, without taking anything for granted. Hey, it can happen...right?
And here's that picture I mentioned before...Connor meeting Mickey Mouse:
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Hi Jessica. Boy, I understand. Connor loves you and Ian, and what you pour into him in genuine love, will be returned. He will go through different stages. You will see it and adjust your relationship with him as is healthy. Really, you will find yourself in ways even closer to him that you are today. Some of the best days are the ones you are now having, but they are only some, certainly not all. There is a fullness I expereince when I am with any one of you that has only grown richer through each year. Will Connor need you when he is older? Yes, but different. Not for feedings, food, and discernment and physical care, but always for the depth of support, love, friendship and spiritual covering/support. Hey, I enjoyed your writings.. I love you girl! Dad
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