Family

I am with my whole family in Pismo right now...Jeremy drove down from Modesto and my parents and I drove from LA. It is nice being together all in one place and getting to hang out. One of my favorite parts is hanging out with my sister in law, Courtney. It's nice to have a girl around, being raised with brothers and all!

I took some pictures of Tanner and Josh today and I think they turned out really cute, so I thought I would share a couple with you.



Tonight, we went out for pizza. Tanner had a meltdown in the middle of the restaurant because Jeremy pulled a piece of pizza off his plate. All of us sat there laughing hysterically as everyone in the restaurant watched Tanner scream at the top of his lungs. He finally went to Courtney and fell asleep on her lap. Given how it really is impossible to control children and given that they seem to enjoy making a scene in public, I think it should only be acceptable that we can laugh about situations like this. Oh, and given that I am getting ready to get on a long plane ride with an infant, I don't get why people (even those with children) have to stare (and it is NEVER a nice stare) when someone else's child is crying.

Girly-Girl

I have never been much of a girly-girl. I have tried at points. Even went thru phases where I wore make up every day and wore coordinating jewelry. And as much as I like that (and try to be like that) it really isn't me.

I am not a dainty girl. I am a crawl around on the ground, jump up in the air, sit indian-style type of girl. Most of the time, you will find me in jeans and a t-shirt with my hair all over the place. Its just who I am.

The other day, I decided to buy a dainty, sheer top. Let me tell you, even though it is pretty, it hasn't worked out for me. The first time I wore it, I got it caught on a chair and snagged it. How, you ask. Well, I am talented like that. I run into things (like chairs) and happened to run into a chair (with my back, non-the-less) and caught my shirt on it. Then today, I managed to get some velcro on Connor's shoe caught on the shirt...velcro is my enemy, but that is a whole other story. And later in the day, I managed to snag my finger nail on the shirt. I bite my nails, so getting them caught on something is no easy feet.

All this has made me realize, this pretty shirt is just not for me. I am sure I will wear it a few more times before it is completely ruined. But, I have learned my lesson. The next time I see a pretty, dainty shirt, I will leave it hanging on the rack for the next girly-girl that walks thru the door!

Discipline

I was hanging out with a friend today and we were talking about life. Out of our conversation came a very interesting topic...discipline. Then my friend said...

Can you think of anything in life that takes discipline to achieve, but doesn't give you the rewards?

Thinking about it, I couldn't. Working out makes you more fit. Working hard gives you promotions and pay raises (eventually). Changing diapers gives you (well, means you are blessed with) a child. Not biting your nails gives you long, girly nails (yeah, I don't think I care about that one).

The interesting thing about discipline is that while we are trying to be disciplined and turn something into a habit, it feels like pulling teeth!

The other thing we noticed is that the busier we are, the more our lives are organized and the more we accomplish. Talk about ironic!

I want to be disciplined. I want to be faithful with my time. I don't want to settle for mediocrity, I want to settle for excellence and part of the way to accomplish that is by being disciplined and diligent with my time every day...and currently that means by changing poopy diapers, feeding my little man, playing airplane with him, taking pictures and having conversations...and that is about the BEST way I can spend my time! (That and having coffee with my man!)

Caffeine

I am trying to decide if I think/believe that caffeine truly affects me or if it is all in my mind. Now, don't get me wrong...I do believe that after enough caffeine, it does something...it gives me the jitters. BUT, I am not sure about the overall effectiveness otherwise.

Personally, I think it is more of a head thing and less of an energy thing. For 9 months, I went off caffeine. I drank camomile tea, decaffeinated soda and gave up my oh-so-present caffeine addiction (I was the person that single-handedly kept Red Bull in business!). I am not got to say that it was easy, because it wasn't. But, with the correct amount of sleep (in fact, probably too much sleep) I made it thru. In fact, by the end I didn't even really miss my daily Red Bull/coffee. Unfortunately, after Connor was born, I started on coffee again. And before you know it...I didn't have coffee the other day and ended up with a splitting head ache (and with a trip to Starbucks to mend the headache). This got me thinking...

I know caffeine affects me (HELLO, it cures my headaches!), but does it really give me energy to get thru the day? I don't think so. I think psychologically it makes me feel better. Those morning (then noon, then night) cups of coffee give me strength, energy and warm my body (and possibly even my heart). And personally, even if it is ALL IN MY HEAD (like most things), it makes me happy...and I am thinking, that is all that really matters!

If any of you care to share...I would like to know how present (or lack of) your caffeine addiction is and what you think it does for you.

3 Months

My baby is 3 months old! I can hardly believe it...yet at the same time, I can believe it. A lot has changed in our lives since Connor was born. He is now sleeping thru the night...going 9 hours or so at a time. Getting the sleeping thing down is what has kept me sane! Here are some of Connor's accomplishments in the past 3 months:

* Smiling & laughing
* Rolling over - from his belly to his back
* Scares - I used to try to scare him and he wouldn't respond (I know, I am a bad mother!), now he cries if I do.
* And the latest accomplishment...Connor laughs in his sleep! Obviously, he is dreaming about his oh-so-funny mama!

Also, in his first 3 months of life, Connor has:

* Gotten 2 passports (US & UK)
* Traveled to many places in Scotland - Edinburgh, Inverness, Glamis Castle, etc.
* Traveled to America - visited both California & Arizona
* Seen the Wienermobile

He is a pretty busy little boy, but he is enjoying every minute of life...and I am enjoying every minute of life with him!

Cousins for Life

Connor met his cousin Tanner for the first time yesterday. I was so excited about this. Tanner didn't seem too interested in Connor...and probably didn't understand why I kept saying this new word "cousin" to him over and over. He was nice to Connor though. In the car, Connor was crying and he was concerned enough that he kept asking his mom where the baby's binky was. He would even put it back in Connor's mouth when it fell out. When it came time for pictures, he held Connor for about 30 seconds, when he abruptly decided to push Connor away and was done with him.

I love my cousins. To this day, a few of them are very important people in my life to me. I am excited to watch as Connor and Tanner grow up together and I get to see their relationship grow.

Who am I?

Did you ever notice that it is so easy to talk about other people, but when it comes to describing things about yourself, it seems impossible? Or...maybe that is just me. But that got me thinking. Who am I? What are quirky things that make me "me" that people may or may not know. So here are 20 things to help you better know/understand me:

I am enjoying being a mom.
I am enjoying buying baby stuff (heck, I waited my whole life to have a reason to buy it!)
I am too into the news.
I smile all the time.
I am a night owl.
I say "sorry" much more than I should, and need to.
I am married.
I am on the internet way too often.
I am a people pleaser.
I am in love.
I am happy.
I enjoy blogging.
I sometimes feel I cannot relate to people because my life has turned out so well (no joke).
I am happy to walk, rather than drive.
I care about the environment (and get frustrated that Americans in general do not).
I am not into my hair as much as I should be (come on, I let my husband give me my last haircut)!
I like taking pictures.
I am scared of taking risks, though many people think of me as a risk taker.
I am afraid of being a failure.
I don't like complete darkness (not because I am scared, but because I like to see). And oddly enough, I sleep more soundly during the day than at night.

So there you have it people...you got to see a little bit deeper into the psychie of Jessica. Just what you wanted, I know!

Promises

On Tuesday it was very stormy in Los Angeles. When I got on the freeway to head to a friends house, I saw this amazing rainbow. This picture doesn't even do it justice. It was a perfect rainbow and it was ginormious. And for the few minutes that I got to stare at it, I was in awe. I actually got goosebumps thinking what it means. A rainbow is really the only physical (well, at least to the eye) sign of God's promises...at least that I can think of. It is so beautiful and so significant. Love it!

What's it Going to Be?

A few years ago...wait, I guess it only feels like a lifetime ago, but was really in October...I posted an update about my pregnancy with some survey questions. I want to revisit that to see how you all did. Are you ready?

#1 - Baby G will be a:
47% - Boy
53% - Girl

#2 - Baby G will be born:
32% - Before its due date
21% - On its due date
47% - After its due date
On a side note, I would like to thank those of you who said before its due date...I was really hoping he would come early! Those 10 days that he was late seemed to last FOREVER!

#3 - Baby G will be born:
37% - In the morning
26% - During the day
37% - In the middle of the night

#4 - Will Baby G have hair?
84% - Yes
16% - No

#5 - Will Ian pass out during the birth?
16% - Yes
84% - No

#6 - Will Ian & Jessica have a name picked out before the birth?
42% - Yes
58% - No

If anyone out there got all the questions right (or even remembers what they answered on all the questions!), I would like to congratulate you with a job well done and a pat on on the back!

Perspective

Perspective really is what defines our lives. Everyone sees life thru their own eyes and set of experiences. As we expand our experiences, our perspective expands and changes. I have seen this in my own life a lot over the past couple years.

Example #1:
Weather. I used to wear a winter coat even in southern California. I even used to bundle up in scarves and beanies. Now, after living in Scotland and getting used to the weather over there, the weather in California seems mild. I went for a walk the other day in 52 degree weather and didn't need a coat or anything. In fact, I haven't used my winter coat once since touching down stateside.

Example #2:
What matters in life. After moving and being away from my family and friends, I realized what really matters in life. It is hard to be away from people when things are going on...good things, bad things, birthdays, etc. That is one thing that really saddens me about living so far away from everyone. I have never been able to be at my nephew's birthday party, and that's hard.

Example #3:
Possessions don't really matter. Oddly enough, they seem to consume our lives. Shopping, living, everything. Learning to not let those things consume our lives is key. I wouldn't go as far to say that possessions used to consume my life, but they definitely had a place in my life. Having to pack all my stuff up and put it in storage was very hard. Now I look back and think that we should have just sold most the stuff. Mostly everything in life is replaceable. Its the irreplaceable in life that really matters.

Moving to Scotland really opened my eyes. I am glad to of have my eyes opened. Recently I was talking to a friend about how when you have less experience, your life is simpler and easier...you don't realize what you are missing; your heart isn't torn between two different places, etc. I think in ways that is true. But, I am happy for the experiences and perspective I have gained in life...and hope for more in the future.

Missing You

Being away from the hubby for 6 weeks isn't easy. And, oddly enough, I get a lot of responses from people about it. Some people seem to think I should be gone longer (really?!?), others mention how Connor won't know his dad when we return. This may be true, but it still breaks my heart every time I hear it. I don't want to deprive Ian of seeing his little man blossom from a 2 month old into a hugely grown up 3 1/2 month old.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am completely thankful for the time I am getting in the states. BUT, it doesn't mean that a part of my heart isn't stuck in Scotland with Ian. I miss that man. Yes, we skype, email and talk on the phone every day. But there is more...

I miss sitting around eating dinner with him, talking about our days.

I miss sitting on the couch, watching House, leaning against Ian with his arm around me.

I miss us tag teaming it with Connor while trying to clean the house.

I miss going to coffee together and just enjoying each others company.

I miss being around my best friend.

And I know that before I know it, I will be getting back on that dreaded plane (12 hours in one little space, just me and the little man...not fun!) headed back to my sweetie. In the mean time, I hope he knows how much I love him and how much he consumes my thoughts throughout the day.

Now, for your viewing pleasure...Connor skyping with daddy...if you look closely, you will notice a nice "blowout" on Connor's back. I was getting diapers and a new outfit while Connor was talking away to Ian.

Connor's Little Head

Honestly, babies (& the human body in general) never cease to amaze me. I was sitting in the car today and noticed I could see Connor's heart beat in his head. I thought this was SO CRAZY that the rest of you would really want to see it...okay, probably not really want to see it, but still, it is interesting.