Moving sucks. There is really no other way to put it. And saying goodbye, well that totally sucks. I would rather stub my toe really hard than have to say goodbye to people. Basically, I have gotten through the past week by denying anything was happening. It worked. Kind of. Well, not really.
Slowly but surly, we had to say goodbye to the friends that we have gotten to know, the people who have become like family over these past few years. And that type of thing is gut wrenching. And I HATE crying in front of people, well really crying at all. Unfortunately, I was way more emotional moving this time, so some tears happened.
At church on Sunday, our friends came around us and prayed. Having your friends praying for you and hearing them cry, just made me cry all the more. Then saying bye to our Scottish besties on Sunday evening was so freaking hard. It felt like my heart was ripped out and stomped on a little. I only hope they know how much they mean to us and how great a time we have had with them over the past few years. All those slumber parties, all the eating, all the talking; it was great and will be sorely missed.
Monday was such a stressful day. We had to finish packing and clean our flat. All our stuff didn't fit into our bags, so we ended up mailing one more box (we had already mailed 2). Once I was sitting in the taxi in front of my house, a wave of emotion flooded over me. I just wanted to take it all in. It was my last time to see my house as my house. I will never live there again. It holds some great memories for us.
When we got to the airport, we discovered our flight to London had been canceled. We got a new flight, which ended up being delayed for an hour and a half. Needless to say, we ended up spending way more time in the Aberdeen airport than we anticipated. When we finally got on the plane and were taking off, once again a wave of emotion swept over me. I even turned to Ian and asked if we were making a mistake by moving.
I know this move isn't a mistake. But just because something is right, doesn't mean it is easy. It is never easy to leave your comfort zone, even if you are returning to something you once knew. But it is HARD. We have changed. Living so far away from our family has caused Ian and I to be close. We need each other. We rely on each other in a way that I don't think would have happened had we never moved. It is a good thing. And I don't want it to change. I don't want our lives to get so busy that we no longer have time to cuddle up on the couch with some wine and talk. I don't want our lives to get so busy that we don't have time to walk to Starbucks and get some coffee. I don't want our lives to get so busy that we lose each other and lose precious time with our little boy.
Scotland gave us a gift. Well, it gave us several gifts. It taught us to slow down. It taught us to be less materialistic. It gave us the gift of knowing what it was like to go to a warm, friendly church; to be at a church where we didn't feel out of place. It gave us friends we could totally be ourselves around. It changed us.
I don't want to lose all that change.
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And in case you are interested, feel free to read my original thoughts about moving to Scotland over 3 years ago:
Goodbye & Welcome Home - Part 1Goodbye & Welcome Home - Part 2