The Delivery Story

The Pushing

When it came time to push, things became intense quite quickly. Because I still had feeling in the top of my belly and could feel really bad contractions in my back, I was able to tell the midwives when I had a contraction coming on and that I was going to push. I know this sounds odd, but out of all the events of the day, the pushing seemed like the best part. Sounds weird, I know. But I think I knew it meant I was about to meet my child and it felt a bit like a challenge for me to get him out. Even though I was progressing quite nicely, the baby decided to not cooperate. His heart rate started falling really low. It was one of those surreal moments when you realize that slow heart rate isn't yours, but that of your baby's and that isn't good. Suddenly two doctors came in and I felt like everything left my control. People stopped talking to me and started talking around me. Things were being set up quickly and I wasn't being told what was going to happen. So, I started asking questions. I was told that the doctors were going to assist with the delivery by using either a vacuum or forceps. I was freaking out about the forceps (no joke) and begging them not to, so they said they would try the vacuum first, but that the baby needed to come quickly. I felt like I had lost control and didn't like it. I had been informed of this earlier, but was once again informed that a pediatrician would be standing by at the birth to look over the baby. They do this outside of the room, but I was told Ian could accompany the baby for this. Back to the pushing...with the vacuum, things happened really fast. In only a couple pushes the head was out. In the middle of this, the doctor invited Ian to come look, which he declined and took my hand for me to touch the head, which I ripped my hand away from the doctor, thinking that was totally not my thing...Ian and I are both weird like that!

The Birth

As soon as the baby was born, they threw him on my stomach with him facing away from me. I immediately noticed he was blue and not breathing. They told everyone not to touch him because they didn't want him stimulated to breathe because of the meconium. Also, even though they asked Ian earlier in the night about cutting the cord, he didn't get to because the baby needed immediate medical attention. Before we even knew if it was a boy or a girl, they had taken him out of the room. The doctor who delivered him didn't even know if it was a boy or girl...it all happened so fast. And, with me freaking out, they said Ian was not allowed to go check on him...of course this only made me freak out even more. I kept saying I couldn't hear the baby cry. It was the scariest few minutes of my life. I felt helpless and didn't know what was going on. Ian was holding me, praying in my ear and trying to calm me down. It was more than a few minutes (and felt like forever) before they brought him back in and thankfully he was okay. Later in the day, I looked at my medical charts and discovered his apgar score was a 2 one minute after birth...that isn't good. But thankfully, because he recovered so quickly, there are no lasting affects.

Meeting My Little Man

I got to enjoy some time with Connor before I started feeling sick again. Then, I had to ask Ian to take him while I spent some time vomiting and getting cleaned up...honestly, most of the stuff after Connor's birth is a blur because I was feeling so unwell. I was with it enough though to ask to see the placenta...if you know me, you know I really would want to see something like that! And it was interesting to see. Since I was incapacitated, Ian took over with the bonding for me. He helped the midwife measure Connor's length and made sure to take pictures of him being weighed. At this point, it had been over 24 hours that Ian and I had been in the hospital, and up for 26 with almost no sleep before that. Connor seemed in no way like he was ready to sleep. Ian was falling asleep in a chair holding Connor and I remember telling him to make sure he didn't fall asleep and drop him.

The Ward

Since I was in a labor and delivery room, I had to be transferred to a ward. And since I was catheterized, they had to put me in another bed to transfer me to the ward. I seriously felt like a baby myself...laying on a "puppy pee pad" in a bed. It wasn't my finest moment! When they transferred me, they put Connor in bed with me. He was screaming and I knew they had to wheel me through the hospital and people were going to be looking at me. So, I stuck my finger in his mouth, which calmed him down, and closed my eyes for the trip, partially out of exhaustion and partially out of not wanting to see people looking at me in this state. In my room, there were 6 beds to a room. I actually thought that was going to be worse than it really was...the midwife had warned everyone in our baby classes that there were 6 beds to a room in the wards.

Even though Ian and I were exhausted, we couldn't get Connor to go to sleep, which meant we didn't get to sleep. In the first 24 hours of his little life, he only slept about 6 hours...it was exhausting! The three of us laid on the bed together and slept for about an hour and a half before Connor woke up. Ian headed home to shower and I hung out with Connor. Later in the afternoon, Ian came back and I was able to get up and shower. Our friends came by to meet Connor and bring him a present. Then before I knew it, it was time for Ian to go home...visitors (including dads) aren't allowed to stay in the ward overnight. I was nervous about being alone with Connor overnight. And it was just me and a screaming little Connor all night long. I am pretty sure all the other women in the room hated me! Part of the problem was that Connor had to be checked every hour for the first 24 hours, so just when I would get him to sleep, someone would come in to check him out and wake him up and the whole process would start all over again. At one point, I asked the midwife to hold him because I had to pee. She told me to leave my screaming baby in the cot while I went to the bathroom. So I did, feeling bad for Connor the whole time and thinking that the other women in the room were judging me.

The next morning I couldn't wait for Ian to get to the hospital. He held Connor and let me take a shower and feel human again. I also couldn't wait to get out of the hospital. They asked me of I wanted to stay another night, but I kindly declined. Connor got the seal of approval from the pediatrician, ear specialist and everyone else and we were on our way home. The weird part about leaving the hospital was there were no security checks of any kind. We just took Connor (who yes, was with me the whole time at the hospital, except for the first few minutes), turned in a paper at the reception desk and walked out. And so began the rest of our lives...