Our Stuff Has Arrived

Today was a big day. Our stuff we shipped back in July finally arrived. I was excited at work all morning, thinking about what awaited me at home. I had visions of sifting thru all my wonderful clothes, shoes and purses. When I got home I saw the boxes and began to go thru them. That is when I ran into my shoes, the shoes in the picture in particular. To any normal person, these look like normal shoes. But these shoes represented something to me. They represented a life that I am no longer living. The more I unpacked, the more I realized my clothes, shoes and purses represented a life I am no longer living. This made me sad. It isn't like I am not enjoying my life now, but there is still a sadness for the life I left behind. I no longer get dressed up for work...in fact now I wear the same pare of shoes to work everyday. I no longer carry around a beautiful purse wherever I go...since I no longer have a car, everything I need for the day has to go with me, in a messenger bag. And, 5 days a week, I wear a white or black collared shirt with black pants. Those last two days, I am free to express myself with the few winter clothes I own...come on, I lived in Southern California!

I never expected to be having these feelings. It is weird to go thru such a dramatic life change. And, it isn't just about the move. It is about giving up my job, my car, my home. It's everything and sometimes when I think about it, I am sad. The funny thing is, I know that when this chapter of my life is over, I will be going thru these exact feelings about Scotland. Life, or emotions, can be so strange at times!